Well, if the title of the post didn’t already tell you; my wife and I are currently going through IVF. We had been trying for a little over 3 years before we started IVF treatment a little over 3 months ago.
I have spent the past few months reading an incredible amount of material both online, and materials sent from respective clinics in the UK. There is a an inordinate amount of information surrounding infertility in general if you really want to read it. I think I have read most of it. Sadly.
I think in rather a specific sort of way, that often helps in my line of work. This unfortunately doesn’t carry over into every day life very well. Mainly because I find many people dont think the same way, or more often at the same speed as I do. It is a big personal failing of mine, one which I battle with every day, both at home and at work. It often limits my involvement in many things as I find it hard to ‘work at the same speed’.
With this in mind, I have been struggling with some aspects of the fertility treatment. Yes, it is a very scientific process, but a lot of it is still down to natural luck. This still baffles me, in the modern day, that luck still plays a huge part in becoming pregnant.
You start off, with a 99.9% chance of success. When you read that you think, hell yeah! This is going to do the trick. However, as you go through the different phases before having the fertilised embryo’s transferred back, this can drop to as low as approximately 40%. That is a very big drop. It all makes sense when you look at the different phases, and break it down into small steps. But it still galls me, as there if nothing either my wife or I can do to improve this.
So, we actually started the physical treatment in mid November with my wife starting on the daily injections. We were, of course, warned about all the potential side affects. None of which presented themselves. Thank god! She managed to complete all of these herself, I didn’t have to administer a single one. I am so very proud of her for that. She is not the sort of person who would normally be able to do something like this. However she seems to have found an immense internal strength at a time when a lot of people would break.
Then in December we went off to the clinic, for our tests and the wife’s regular scans to make sure all was ok. The first scan was ok, nothing out of the ordinary at all. Then the 2nd scan highlighted the she had started to over stimulate. This is the biggest risk of taking the drugs associated with IVF. OHSS can be deadly, if left untreated. So, as a result the dosage was lowered, and we were warned that they may have to collect the eggs as per normal, but freeze them after fertilisation. As the risk of contracting OHSS is far higher if you become pregnant (following an over stimulated phase of IVF).
So, we went in for the big day in December. I ‘played my part’ and they collected the eggs from my wife. There were way too many. So they took the decision there and then that we would not be allowed to continue. Whilst I was set in my mind that this would be the case following the warnings earlier in the week, my wife had not set herself up for this.
To see her in the massively distressed state she was in, I watched on wondering what the hell I could do. The answer? Nothing. This was the way it had to be for her safety. But it still hurts now, to think of how she was that day. I dont want to go through that again, yet I full expect we may have too.
Now we are waiting for the nod from the clinic for my wife to start the drugs again, so that they can try and complete a ‘frozen embryo transfer‘
In the UK, the council that sets the rules of conduct for fertility clinics strictly prohibits the transfer of more than one embryo, unless:
- The patient is over a certain age. Where using mor than one is expected to help pregnancy.
- The patient(s) are using frozen embryos.
Clearly my wife and I fall into the latter category. However, we dont want to transfer more than one, as the risk of twins is still high enough to be counted. In the US for example you are allowed to transfer more than one upon request.
The big thing I have taken away from this whole thing is that you have to have a very patient mentality. This is something I do not have. The process is drawn out, full of hurdles, red tape, steps, procedures, tests, drugs, and above all stress.
To be honest, Im not sure why I am even writing all of this down, I guess it is just to help me to remember all the steps involved and to help me process it all.
